Spoilers/Season: Five for later mentions of Abbey's medication and Zoey's whatever. No Exit.

Summary: And idly, Toby wonders if the guests in the ballroom can feel the change, can feel the course of history shifting around them. Do they hear the saga being written twenty years in the future about this, about this night and all those that will follow? Do they hear the words, the wonder, the awe? Do they hear?

Disclaimer: They all belong to Aaron Sorkin, who abandoned them, and unless otherwise specified, I own no one here. The quote: "A series of small, well-intentioned steps can lead you down the wrong path just as surely as a deliberate, headlong sprint." was taken from the fic "What It Looks Like" by SheilaVR.

Author's Notes: This is just my take on what could happen. It ain't nothin', but a family thing. I'm just saying that pills can be a good or a bad thing. We're gonna call them a bad thing for the sake of the story.

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It Ain't Nothin,' But A Family Thing...

Both Toby and Leo watch the President in silence. They note the way his gaze flits away from theirs, the way he looks at the ground. He is President Josiah Bartlet. He does not look to the ground. But he is. The impossible is possible and he is. He is ashamed. He is afraid. And he cannot look them in the eye. He is frightened. And so are they.

Here they are, in this room together. So near, not two yards away from, the very seat of power. And they watch him start to falter, start to fall. They wonder, Should they catch him? Can they catch him? Neither speaks, because neither is certain. The burden of this office weighs them down and they cannot rise to comfort him. They watch him and they wait. He takes a breath and they hold theirs. They watch him and they wait.

"It started when Ellie was young. Not, 'little girl' young, but 'Dad, you never understood me' young. She was strange, off-the-wall, stressed out. She even started losing her hair. I couldn't get her to talk to me and even Abbey seemed to get nowhere. This wasn't just teenage blues; something was wrong with one of my babies and I couldn't make it better. Abbey was reluctant to bring it up with me, but eventually, she suggested that Ellie see a therapist. Had she asked me before, I'd have said, Hell no. No daughter of mine will see therapist. She'll grow out of it. But by the time she finally did ask, I was desperate. I was afraid that if she didn't get some kind of help soon, she'd waste away. So, Abbey set up an appointment with a friend of hers and Ellie went. She came out relatively the same, but she was talking again, interacting. Not with me, but interacting. She had highs and lows. A few sessions later, Abbey comes to me and says that the therapist would like to prescribe a medication for Ellie, but she'll only do it if we agree. Abbey starts to list the benefits of the medication, but she won't tell me what it is. Finally, I tell her to cut to the chase. She says, the doctor wants to put her on Doxepin, an anti-depressant. I was wary from the start, but Abbey said it would help and I trust nothing, if not Abbey's word. She said that she probably wouldn't need them long." His eyes drift upwards to stare at Leo's door through the gap between them. "The last I saw of her, she was still taking them." He sighs and leans back. "And she was only the beginning."

Toby clears his throat and rubs his head. He's so far out of his league, he has not idea what to do. So, he does what he does best: He speaks. "Maybe, you're wrong. Maybe, they're something else." Toby doesn't really believe himself. Neither does Jed.

"Toby, you don't spend five years watching your daughter popping little yellow pills and just forget what they look like when she moves out of the house. It's more than a decade later and I remember. I remember." He shifts a little. Leo hasn't spoken through all of this. He watches Jed, looking for signs perhaps. He doesn't find them. Whatever there should be that screams, He has an addiction! He doesn't see it. Where is it? He voices his thought, at last.

"I don't see it." Jed's forehead furrows and he rubs his thigh absently. He feels a twinge.

"Don’t see what?" He can feel a headache coming on and wonders if calling for the steward would be an affront to this whole conversation.

"What Toby sees. I don't see, haven't seen...anything." The thought of missing the signs seems to trouble him more than the actual act. Maybe he's hiding. Lord knows, Jed is.

"Because, there isn't anything to see." Toby just grumbles and puts his head in his hands.

"Jed, I know Toby can be wrong sometimes, but when he says there's a problem I have tendency to want to believe him...No matter how bad or serious the problem. If he says there's a thing with you…then I'm gonna trust that there's a thing with you."

"There's no thing." He's back to his denials. He walks to his window and peers out so that he doesn't have to face them. The only thing harder than this would be facing Abbey at this moment. He has a feeling that she comes into play later in the game. A game. If only it were that simple. "It ain't nothin', but a family thing, guys. First, Ellie, then Zoey, maybe Abbey a little bit before. It's all there. It's all in the history." Leo leans forward and rest his elbows on his knees. He knows all about family things. They never end pretty.

"Then we'll talk to them too." Jed turns around so fast that he has to catch himself on the back of his chair.

"You can't. They can't help their problems. Problems that I caused, by the way. This is how they cope. Let them have this. At the very least, until I get out of office. They deserve to be human." Leo watches his old friend and Toby watches them both.

"And you don't? What denies you your right your own humanity, your own fallibility? Tell me, Jed. What?" He rests his hands on the back of the chair and meets Leo's eyes unflinchingly.

"This denies me that, Leo. That Seal on the floor, there. That denies me my right to make too many mistakes. People are watching and they are waiting for me to stumble. They are waiting for the burden of this office to crush me. Leo, I can't let them win." His eyes are glassy and he turns away again. He's making excuses. Leo used to do that. Maybe he still is. Just for someone else this time.

"They've already won." Jed looks up quick. It kills Leo that he missed that slightly glazed expression, the over cheer. He should've seen. As they say, "Hindsight is 20/20." Ain't that the truth?

"What do you mean?"

"They may not be able to see you stumble, but your footprints will show your shortcomings. Someone always sees, Jed. Someone always sees."

"No one sees." Leo tips his head towards Toby.

"Toby saw. So far, you only show to those that love you and are willing to look close enough. Toby loves you and he saw patterns." Toby shifts in his seat uncomfortably as both of their eyes glimpse his way. He's not really comfortable with the whole 'love' thing.

"Toby protests."

"Toby protests everything. Don't let it fool ya. He loves you, I love you. Lord knows, Abbey loves you. And whatever your doubts, so do the girls. Jed, the only person you've ever met that didn't love you immediately was anyone you ever ran in an election against. And the only reason they didn't love you too is because they lost to you and in the end, they couldn’t help, but realize that the better man probably won. That's -- That's a tough pill to swallow. No pun intended." They all share a vague smile.

"It feels like the world's on my shoulders, Leo, Toby. I don’t know if I can keep lifting it alone." Leo stands and Toby falls into step behind him. Moving to either side of him, Leo rests a hand on his shoulder and Toby stands protectively by.

"You won't have to. From now on, you've got me. Like you should have had in the first place."

"Leo, you couldn’t have known. I hid it so well that even I was damned convinced that it was just a thing I did to get through, to get by." Leo's eyes darken in remembrance.

"That's how it starts. You only need it sometimes and then sometimes becomes a lot more of the time than it ever was before. It's not your fault. You didn't ask for this." Jed rubs his face.

"Did I? I took this job, knowing what it would do to me. I did it twice, despite Abbey's concerns; medical and marital. Maybe I, in some roundabout way had this coming." Toby finally makes himself heard...again.

"I don't think so, sir. You're a good man who wanted to do a good thing. I don't think God punishes for that. There's a quote about paths and steps and sprints that would fit into this moment, I think. I can't remember it--"

"A series of small, well-intentioned steps can lead you down the wrong path just as surely as a deliberate, headlong sprint. That sound about right?" Toby nods.

"Yes, sir. Your intent was only to be a better man for your people, for your family. You didn't ask for this, sir…And you don't have to go through it anymore. Not alone. Never alone. " He stuffs his hands in his pockets and analyzes the carpet in silence.

"You've got me, Jed. I'm not much, but you've got me." Jed covers Leo's hand with his own and gives it a squeeze.

"And me, sir. If you want me…or even if you don't. You've got me." The President looks over his shoulder at the pensive Communications Director. Toby's eyes slide up to meet Leader's and he sees what he was hoping to. He puts his hand out. Jed takes it and holds on firmly. He closes his eyes for a moment. Maybe he will be okay. Maybe.

"You're gonna be okay, Jed. You're gonna be okay."

"We're not gonna let this thing win, sir. First, you're gonna conquer it and then, we'll worry about the President. The man is all that matters for now." Jed smiles wistfully, but behind the despair, there's a spark of hope. His eyes darken again, though.

"It ain't nothin', but a family thing, guys. Nothin', but a family thing." Leo and Toby share a look over the President's head. Toby nods.

"They're gonna be okay too, Mr. President. But first, we're gonna save you. Then, on to them. And after that, the world." The President smiles a real smile. "The sun will come out tomorrow." He throws up an eloquent eyebrow. Did Toby just say...?

"Why Annie, you've changed." Toby blinks and looks up as though asking why.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny, you very nutty man. I'm just saying that, tomorrow will be a different day. It might be good. It might be not so good, but you're not alone. If the urge is ever there…if you wanna throw something or yell at someone...Leo's there for you. I'll be a phone call away." Jed nods.

"Or Toby. A phone call can easily translate into a midnight trip." Leo gives nonchalantly cool look. Hey, they're in this together. Jed laughs bitterly. They both jump at the sound. That doesn't sound like anyone they know.

"We're actually talking about me getting to bed before or anywhere near midnight. That's not gonna happen. I'm actually quite certain is hasn't happened in years, on any night. Including, but not limited to tonight." Okay, maybe he needs a drink.

"Jed, you need a drink or something. Scotch, maybe?" It's harder for him to say than it may seem, but Jed knows his friend well.

"No, Leo, I can't do that to you."

"This isn't about me. Not tonight."

"Besides, I just took some stuff a while ago. I can't take that anywhere near alcohol." Leo looks at Toby in confusion, surprised that he let it happen. Toby shrugs.

"The President is very adept at clandestinely taking his medication. He took it right under everyone's noses in the office, earlier this evening." Leo remembers the steward.

"The steward."

"That's the one."

"You know that that guy's a Secret Service Agent in a dinner jacket and bowtie, right? He didn't have you fooled, did he?" Jed decides it's time he reentered the conversation.

"Oh, no. Toby knew and called me on it. He called me on a lot of things this evening." Toby rubs the back of his neck.

"Sir, I apologize for my behavior earlier this evening. I know it was extreme, but I felt the situation warranted no less. And you didn't want to hear me. I made myself heard."

"As you are prone to do." Leo and Jed's eyebrows quirk in unison.

"Yes, sir."

"You did good tonight, Toby. You changed history, you know that, don't you?"

"I knew out on the dais, sir. I felt the change." Jed nods.

"So did I...and I ran from it like hell. This was not the way I wanted to make history."

"This is rarely the way Presidents want to make history. And hopefully, with our help, you won't be another."

"Maybe." Jed.

"Maybe." Toby.

"Definitely." Leo.

The room is inundated in silence, but a comfortable silence. They will change this. They've got a hell of a road ahead, but they'll make it. Hopefully.

This isn't how he wants to go down in history.

Leo looks at his watch. "Sir, you should probably get up to bed. I heard you tell Abbey that you wouldn't let Toby keep you up too late. It's past 3 AM. You need to go to bed." He nods a little.

"Toby, you should probably get home to the twins. I'm sure they'd like a kiss a good night from Dad." Toby looks at his watch too and nods.

"Yeah." He stands there, unsure of whether he should just leave. What else can he do? He guesses there's nothing. "Good night, sir. Leo." He nods to both of them and turns to leave. He gets to the door and stops. Reaching for his wallet, he removes one of his business cards and searches his pockets for a pen. "Is it possible that there is a pen anywhere over there, where you are...that you could bring to me?" Jed opens his middle drawer and twiddles it in the air. "...that you could bring over to me?" Leo and Jed look at each other and then, at Toby. The pen goes back in the drawer. "Okay, I guess I'm coming back over there." He trudges back to the desk and holds out his hand. Nothing happens. "May I please borrow the pen?" He thinks about it for a moment and then retrieves the pen and hands it over.

"Yes, you may."

"Thank you for your kindness, sir."

"Hey, I'm a generous guy." Toby peers at him from under his eyebrows, but proceeds to write something on the card.

"That you are, sir." He hands the card to the President. He looks at the innocuous numbers on the pre-printed card.

"What's this?"

"My home phone number. I just thought it'd be silly to assume you'd only need me during business hours. Whatever those are." The President's touched, but hides it well.

"You don't think I could get your number if I needed to contact you?"

"Thanks. I'll try not to bother you too much."

"I wouldn't have given you the number if I thought a call from you would be a bother. Call me if you need me...or if you just want to talk...about things. It's no bother. If you want, I could probably even bring Huck and Molly over. It might take you mind off of…things. Bad, worrying things." Jed smiles again. He's finally getting used to the almost unfamiliar expression.

"I'd like that." Toby nods.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go. Gotta kiss the babies good night."

"Give them a kiss for me." Toby smiles a real smile.

"I'll do that." With another quiet look to Leo, he slips out of the door and it's just to two of them.

"They're beautiful babies." Jed nods, but is distracted. "You're gonna be all right, Jed. You, and Abbey, and the girls."

"I know."

" I don't think you do…We're not gonna let you fall. Whenever you start to feel overburdened, lean on us. That's why we're here." He picks up Jed's coat and helps him into it. "Come on, I'll walk you up to the Residence." Jed looks at him like he's nuts.

"I'm a big boy, Leo."

"Yes, but you're a big boy with a thing now. As a member of Club Thing, the Anonymous chapter, I know that you're most susceptible when you're alone." Jed huffs a bit and waits for Leo to retrieve his things from his office.

They walk down sidewalk silently. There's nothing left to say. They reach the doors of the mansion. Jed stops.

"I think I've got it from here." Leo starts to protest. "Leo, I'm a big boy." Leo starts to interrupt again. "I know, I'm a big boy with a thing, but still. Let me have this, Leo. I need to have this walk to myself. I need to think. If I need a few more voices, I'll call you and Toby and we can make it a party. Just let me have this." Leo nods. He steps away and is about to begin the walk back, when he's pulled into a warm hug. He returns it. Jed whispers in his ear, "I'm lucky to have a friend like you, otherwise I doubt I'd be able to get through this." To Leo's surprise, he kisses his cheek and retreats inside before Leo can respond. He stands there for a moment before a smile lights his face and a laugh disturbs the early, early morning. He begins to walk away, but stops to look back at the doors.

"I'm the one that's lucky, old friend. You saved me all those years ago and now, I can finally return the favor…as if I ever could." He starts to walk away again, but stops to look at the full moon. "Watch over him, tonight. Just in case he needs someone...Just in case." He disappears back inside the building and heads home. He'll turn up the volume on his phone tonight. You know, just in case he's needed.

Leo didn't realize it, but Jed was watching him the whole time.

Jed smiles and steps all the way away from the door. Stuffing his hands in his coat pockets, he heads up to the Residence. God, he misses Abbey right now. He's in no rush to return to the empty bedroom. He thinks about this night, about history, about Abbey. What will he tell Abbey? He can't lie to her, but he can't just tell her everything. That'll keep her on Xanex for years. He's caused her enough pain for a lifetime. He'll get better and she'll never know. Something tells him it won’t be that simple.

Reaching the bedroom door, he slips inside and closes the door behind him, shutting the world away. He rests against the door for a moment before shedding his coat, jacket and tie. This was not how he thought this night would go. It was supposed to be a simple dinner. It's not so simple anymore. He isn't sure how it happened, but now he's got an addiction to prescription drugs. How the hell did that happen! It's a thought that he can barely think much less voice. He knows that he needs to. He needs to say what Toby needs to hear. He needs to say it to himself. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to solving or coming to terms with that problem. He knows there's no curing addiction. He never wanted this.

He stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom and stares at himself in the vanity light. It's good light. It brings out his eyes and everything. He can't even look himself in the eye. He presses his hands to his cheeks. How long has he looked this sick?

He does or so he thought. It's never occurred to him that maybe he needed them too much, too often. He touches his fingertips to his reflection. He doesn't even recognize himself. When did he disappear? This isn't how he wants to go down in history.

"My name's Josiah Bartlet and I have an addiction to prescription drugs."

"Jed? What's going on?" He starts as he sees her reflection in the mirror. She's right behind him. He didn't see her there. He doesn't speak. "Jed?" Her voice is scared.

It ain't nothin', but a family thing.

"Jed."

This isn't what he wanted.

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