Author: Regency

Title: Flavored Coffee, Bath Bubbles & Naps

Rating: PG and possibly up

Pairing: Jed/Abbey

Season/Spoiler/Sequel: Season [something]; Night Five; None so far.

Summary: The President says that he isn't one of 'those' people. That doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

Author's Notes: Any cannon dialogue is paraphrased or fictional.

Disclaimer: I only own the Secret Service Agents that are unfamiliar.

~~~~~

There is a quiet desperation in the air. No one, except them is talking about it, but everyone is trying to do something about it. Subtly, of course.

The President is missing. And no one seems to know where to look. The First Lady is first to leave the party, but soon others follow. Not all of them voted for him, but they all worry. He's still their President, all of their President. They try, at first, to keep up the subterfuge, but it seems a waste with only a hundred people left in the room. It's was a party for six hundred. Yes, quite the waste. They too leave to help. He was their President first.

CJ follows the breadcrumbs the First Lady left behind. The worried staffers, rising from their desks sharing indiscernible looks. This will definitely be her problem in the morning. Hell, it's already her problem. Where the hell is he? Mr. President, please be okay.

She follows the worried staffers.

~~~~

Abbey's always been known for her grace under fire, but she's not doing so well, right now. At first, she smiled whenever someone passed, but that was a half hour ago. She's well beyond smiling and more into worried frowning. She's searching every office and room; every nook and cranny. It doesn’t matter that the Secret Service Agents do a more thorough as soon as she leaves. She already knows where he's not. She just doesn't know where he is. She's done with the Communications Bullpen. Now, she's going to Oval Office. She can't tell if she'll be more pissed that he's there and didn't send someone to tell her or scared if he's not and she's fast running out of places to look. After this she'll check the Residence. Maybe he took a rest and fell asleep. Yeah, that sounds right. That doesn't mean she's skipping the Oval, though.

~~~~

Abbey walks onto their floor of the Residence and toward their bedroom. Could he be here? If he isn't, she'll have to look back in the White House. Maybe she missed a place. The Secret Service, unlikely. But maybe.

She walks to the door and looks to the stoic agents standing guard. Would they have seen him? Would they tell her if they had?

"Agents...” She looks to them both. "Have you seen my husband?" The one on the right nods, as does the one on the left. They've both seen him. That's a good sign, isn't it? "Is he in there?" She nods towards the bedroom door.

"I heard him say he was going to think, marinate. Maybe get some coffee." The other agent corroborates this with a nod.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't know his exact location at this moment." She nods. It was probably too much to hope for anyway. If he wanted to think, he'd probably avoid the first place they'd look for him.

"It's all right. Just…if you see him, tell him people are worried about him. Tell him to find me. I'm worried about him. Just, just tell him that." Agent Sanders nods. He will...when he wakes up.

The First Lady messes with her hair a little. She sighs and heads back to the White House. Where else hasn't she looked?

As the First Lady retreats the agents share a look. When she disappears from sight Maxim speaks, "You lied to her." Agent Sanders shrugs slightly.

"I didn't lie, I fudged the truth. I didn't know where the President was exactly. Neither did you. Yes, I made up the going to think part, but he was going to get coffee. I assumed there'd be some thinking involved. That's why he's up here. He could be out of the bathtub by now. He might even be headed back out here." They wait a moment in silence. Nope, no movement. "Or, he could still be asleep in the tub."

"He could be." Maxim's eyes dart sideways. "You want me to go look?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to look in the bathroom or just in the bedroom?"

"Just look in the bedroom. Don't want you seeing anything you'd rather not." Maxim shivers. He doesn't want to see anything either.

He slips into the bedroom and does a cursory look around. No President. He hesitates, but moves to the bathroom door. He peers around the door. The arm is still hanging from the edge of the tub. He's still there. Maybe he should wake him up. No, no that's not his job. He just has to protect him. He prays that he doesn't lose his job over this. He exits just as silently as he entered. He retakes his place, giving his partner a reassuring look. Their charge was safe; they'd done their part. They just prayed they'd done it right.

~~~~

The President sits in the bath, unmoving. His breathing is easy, his countenance calm. Seems like he's having good dreams. His farther arm rests precariously on the edge of the tub. His shifts around in his sleep. His arm falls into the water with a jarring splash. He jerks awake and looks around, disoriented. He blinks and reaches up to rub his eyes with his dry hand. He rolls his shoulders and yawns, feeling more rested than he had in a while.

~~~~

Yawn! Man, that felt good. I roll my shoulders a bit, hearing a neat little pop here and there. I look at my hands to see that I'm shriveled up like a prune. How'd that happen so fast? I was only here for like half an hour. That shouldn't happen in half an hour. Unless, I was in here longer than half an hour. That wouldn't be a good thing.

I push myself up and out, grabbing the big fluffy towels sitting on the counter. Wrapping it around me, I pick up my watch to check the time. Oh God. I've been in here for little more than an hour. An hour. I'm sure there's got to be people looking for me. Wouldn't they have found me by now? Unless someone ran interference. Abbey? Maybe. Leo? No, he's afraid of Abbey. Who else? I guess I'd better get dressed and find out.

I hop back into my tux, which immediately starts to stick to me and step into my shoes. I admittedly stop to get another mug of the still warm coffee. What? It's good. After I'm dressed, I scamper out the door, past my agents. Maybe I should ask if anyone's come looking for me.

"Hey, guys. Has anybody come looking for me?" They look guiltily at each other. Oh, God.

"Yes, sir." I wait for them to elaborate...and they don't. I nod for them to get on with it. "The First Lady came looking for you about half an hour ago. She told us to tell you that people were looking for you and that she was worried and to come find her, if we see you." I must look confused, because, quite frankly, I am.

"Doesn't she know where I am?" They share another guilty look. Oh, my God. "You looked her in the eye and said you didn't know where I was, didn't you?" More guilt. Damn. We're all in trouble now. "Why?" Agent Sanders, I think it is, clears his throat and steps forward.

"You looked exhausted, sir. I know it's not my job, but you needed the rest. I just didn't wake you. It seems like a stupid idea now, but I really had the best intentions at heart, sir. I'll accept whatever punishment you see fit to administer." I look at Sanders and then at the silent Agent Maxim. As if I could actually forget a name that cool. He has to know something about this.

"And what did you do, Agent?"

"Sir?"

"Of course, you didn't just stand there, stoically."

"No, sir."

"Then, what did you do?"

"I backed my partner up, sir." I look at him quietly. It sounds so heroic when he says it that way.

"So, you helped him lie to my wife?" He blinks and nods, looking slightly bashful, if anything. A bashful Secret Service Agent, woulda thunk it? "Why?"

"The same reason he did." I sigh like a harried parent. They look like my girls when they've done a bad thing for a good reason. I know the feeling.

"Thank you." They look more confused than I did. "You went outside your job description to take care of me and I appreciate it. I wouldn't recommend doing it again, but still, I appreciate it. Now, please, let us locate my wife before she brings out the hounds. Shall we?" They fall into step beside me and we're out of here.

~~~~

Oh, boy, Jed, you've done it now. Abbey's frantic, CJ's close to quitting, everyone else is pulling their hair out. If I were you, old friend, I'd make myself real scarce or very visible right now. Preferably, wherever Abbey's looking for you.

Wait a minute, where the hell did all of those black suits come from? Ahh…wait, there you go. You look kind of rumpled there, friend. You smell like…what is that? Is that vanilla and something else? Either way, I pounce. I like that word.

"Mr. President, where in the world have you been? Me and like half of the White House, including those at your party, have been looking for you. Not to mention your wife, who is somewhere ugly between maiming you and doing things that I'm not that interested in hearing about with you." He blinks at me like I've got two heads, when he's the one who's been AWOL for nearly two hours.

"I was napping." He isn't serious. Napping? I'm really trying not to laugh at the Leader of the Free World, but napping? He's gonna have to come up with something better than that. Him, napping in the middle of a party? He wouldn't. Would he?

"Seriously, man, where were you?" He just looks at me. "You were really napping?" He nods.

"Don't laugh." I cough to cover the snort that escapes.

"I'm gonna laugh, but I'll wait until you turn your back to do it." He scowls at me and I laugh. Hey, I really tried, at first. Okay, not really.

"Thanks, a lot. I feel the love."

"Hey, you made the last two hours of my life hell. You should be apologizing to me and you will be apologizing to Abbey." He looks around when I say her name. It's hard say whether he's scared to see her or eager.

"Speaking of my darling wife, where is she now?" I wonder if I should tell him that Abbey's currently creeping up behind him. Nah.

"Right behind you, Jed." He jumps and turns in the same movement. I give it a 10.

"Holy --!" He stops himself at the last moment when he sees Abbey's raised eyebrows. "Hi, pumpkin."

"Hello, Jethro." Uh oh, friend. You best start talking fast or you're sleeping alone tonight. Of course, you've already napped, so you might not feel like sleeping anyway. But I don't think that other thing's happening either. She stands there with her hands behind her back as though she's inspecting him. "So where have you been this evening?" Jed blushes and I laugh. He glares over his shoulder. I shrug. I'm not even trying anymore.

"I was resting." She tips her head a little. Damn man, something's already not adding up.

"I was told that you told your agents that you were thinking."

"I didn't."

"That means..."

"That they lied to you."

"Why would they lie to me unless you told them to?"

"Because...Wait a minute, I wouldn't have told them to lie to you and I didn't. I wasn't even up. I was asleep, napping and they didn't want me to be disturbed. Not like you could disturb me, sweetheart." She crosses her arms and moves a little closer.

"You were napping? Napping where and when?" He blushes more. "Jethro."

"Don't call me that."

"I think I will. Where and when?" He stuffs his hands in his pocket and mumbles something I can't hear. Abbey, standing as close as she is, can't hear it either. "What was that, pumpkin?"

"I was taking a bath in the Residence and I fell asleep." She blinks at him and snorts. It occurs in stereo when I join in. Da baby took a wittle bubba bath. Okay, I'm going to stop now. Debbie’s a bad influence on me.

"I'm sorry, I thought you said that you were taking a bath in the Residence and you fell asleep."

"That's what I said. I was taking a bath to relax, and I used some of your bubble bath and I fell asleep. I had some really good coffee too. It was cinnamon flavored. You should try it." She takes a step back to look at him.

"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" His brow furrows.

"What?" She jabs him with her elbow a few times.

"Flavored coffee, bubble baths, naps. Come on, where's my husband?" He waves his arms around.

"Here."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"You fell asleep in the bathtub?"

"Yes, Abigail. I went upstairs, had coffee, took a bath, and fell asleep in the bath. Time passed and my agents ran interference. They thought I needed sleep."

"You do need sleep."

"I know that now."

"But, for the love of God, Jed, not in the middle of dinner parties."

"Hey, I didn't exactly plan on falling asleep. Stanley made me do it." Abbey looks around. She doesn't see Stanley and neither do I. Has Jed, maybe, flipped a little?

"Honey, I don't see him."

"Well, he's not actually here or anything, but it was his idea. He said that it'd be good for my psyche." Yes, friend, your very big psychotic...never mind.

"So, a man that's not actually here or anything made you sneak out of a party, go up to the Residence, drink cinnamon flavored coffee, and take a bath, in which you fell asleep for nearly two hours? That sound about right?"

"Well, I wasn't asleep the whole time, but yeah, that's about it."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Um, now what?" She puts out her hand.

"We go to bed, pumpkin. I am exhausted."

"Um, okay." More with the 'umming.'They throw goodbyes over their shoulders at me as Abbey leads a bewildered Jed towards the Residence. I can hear Jed speak as they disappear from view. "Hey, Abbey. Want me to run you a bath?"

"Do I get the coffee too?" There's a silent moment. "Well?"

"I don't know yet. I'm thinking."

"Share and share alike."

"Do unto the wife as was done unto the husband."