Home Is Where The Heart Is…

He walked into the room, looking at her expressionless face. She blinked, not focusing on him. He walked closer; she still didn’t focus. He walked around to her side and watched as she continued to blink in the direction of the door. She reminded him of each of their daughters when they were first born. He ran a hand over his face, trying to clear his mind. He looked back to her face and started when he realized that she was directing her eyes at him.

They were still unfocused, but he was somehow certain that she could see him. She blinked and when the door clicked open, she didn't react. She didn't do anything until the doctor and nurse attempted to touch her. She began to thrash about, screaming incoherently. Jed looked on helplessly. What could he do to help?

"Doctor, how can I help?" The doctor and nurse continued trying to hold her down so that they could check her wound.

"Calm her down, please!" Jed didn't know what to do. It had been a while since he'd calmed a child down so, he did what he did best. He improvised. He reached down and stroked Abbey cheek very gently. At first, it didn't seem to help, but eventually she stopped thrashing and just lay still, her chest heaving in exertion and her wound beginning to bleed again. He reached his other hand up and stroked her hair; she whimpered softly, her eyes starting to fall closed. Her breathing slowed and she leaned into his touch. "It's all right. It's all right." Her eyes reopened and she looked at him in confusion, watching his lips move, but not comprehending. He looked up at the doctor who was taking a breather near the foot of the bed. "She can't understand me, can she?" The doctor shook his head.

"She won't be able to until she has further therapy. She has to redevelop her motor skills." Jed nods, trying to shake the sound of Abbey's voice in the back of his mind. He remembered the way she said his name just the night before and closed his eyes for a moment. So much had changed. He heard the softest grunting, 'hurumphing' sound come from the bed. He opened his eyes and saw Abbey, whose eyes were narrowed and she seemed to be trying to reach up her hand to him. She was having a hard time coordinating the effort and her hand hovered just off the bed. He wrapped his hand around hers. That seemed to placate her and she actually seemed pleased.

Abbey didn't understand what was happening, but she felt like something was wrong. She couldn't recall exactly who he was, but he looked so sad and she wanted him to be happy again. He kissed her cheek. "Thank you. Now, let the nice doctor and nurse look at you." Abbey's brow furrowed and she started to shake her head. Jed nodded. "Yes." She grunted again. "Don't *grunt* me." She narrowed her eyes further. "They need to look at you, so that you can get better." She frowned and blinked. She seemed to concede. Jed nodded, knowing he'd won this round. "Doctor, she's all yours." He kissed her forehead and let go of her hand. "I'm going to wait outside." He walked away from the bed towards the door again. He needed some air.

Abbey watched his back disappear from her sight and looked back to the bright light the doctor was flashing in her eyes and started to fuss. She wanted Jed to come back. She began to huff, her eyesight impeded by the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. He wasn't coming back, he was leaving her. She started to cry. Softly at first, then in earnest when he didn't respond to her distress. Why wouldn't he come back?

Jed stood in the elevator watching the numbers as they descended to one. He took one of his hands out of his pockets to rub the back of his neck. His whole body felt like one big cinderblock, reticent to move, but he knew he needed to get out. Just for a moment to really clear his head and to come to terms with what his life was about to turn into. If he was going to do this, and he was going to do this, he needed to completely pledge himself. He needed to be totally there; no holds barred. There would be no time for wavering later. This was the very vow he'd made thirty-five years ago finally brought to bear. The decision had been made before he'd even known it need be made. That didn't mean he didn't need to think about it.

The elevator stopped and pinged, the doors opening. Just as Jed stepped out, the loudspeaker bellowed his name. "President Bartlet to the First Lady's room. President Bartlet to the First Lady's room." He turned around and went back into the elevator. He'd think later.

Abbey writhed unhappily on the bed, strongly batting away the hands of the attendants trying to inject her with a sedative. She didn't understand what they were doing and wanted them to stop.

"Stop, stop. I'll calm her down. Just stop touching her." They let her go and she watched them suspiciously, eyes flitting around. Her eyes found Jed's and she stopped moving. He sat at her side and stroked her cheek. "Now, why are we fussing?" She looked around at the attendants and widened her eyes. Jed's eyes followed hers. "You scared her. She doesn't know who you are and you're trying to stick her with something. She's scared of you. Approach her very slowly and let her see what you're doing. Don't try to hide it. Now, come on." The doctor approached her slowly with the needle visible. He rubbed a spot on her arm with the cotton swab and help the needle up for her to see. She whimpered and flinched away from it. Jed rubbed her hand between his. "It's okay. It'll just hurt for a little bit." She wasn't wild about it hurting at all. "Go." The doctor stuck the needle into her arm and she yelped a little. She glared at Jed and he winced in sympathy. That made her smile.

The sedative took hold almost immediately and she head lolled to his side, her eyes beginning to lose focus. He pressed his fingers against her jaw, keeping the best eye contact with her he could. Her eyes started to close. He was the last thing she saw.

She peeked over her cover as he walked paced past the foot of her bed. She followed his movements the best she could, but he kept leaving her line of sight and was hard for her to follow. She blinked rapidly, her eyes starting to water. He was yelling and she didn't know why. She didn't think she had done anything wrong. He stopped and looked up at the TV suspended in the corner and saw a woman on it. She was tall and pretty and was standing behind a podium. It was CJ.

"The President, with the input and blessings of his closest advisors has decided that he, for the sake of his wife, Dr. Abigail Bartlet, should resign his position as President of the United States. He has all of our blessings and our prayers are with the First Family. That's all from us. It's been a good run and we will miss you. Thank you. The rest of your questions will be taken care of via video conference with Dr. Brakken, the First Lady's attending surgeon and physician." The tall woman stepped down from the podium and the camera swung to a television stationed to the right of the platform. It was Abbey's doctor. The doctor was immediately inundated with questions, most of which he wouldn't or couldn't answer.

Abbey eventually quit listening because she couldn't understand what they were saying and started to watch Jed again. He watched with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets. He too eventually stopped watching and looked at her. When he caught her staring, he quirked an eyebrow at her and she looked away, blushing for reasons quite beyond her current understanding. He laughed softly and sat down beside her, taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze.

"What are you thinking about?" She didn't understand, but smiled anyway. He could read her eyes and saw the confusion. He reached up and mussed her hair a little, giving a deep chuckle when she scowled at him. There was definitely still some of his Abbey in there.

Her eyes skittered back to the TV and then, to him for an explanation. His eyes followed hers and he saw the question. She didn't know what was happening, but she was sure it involved them both in some way. "Oh, that." She 'hurumphed' at him. "That's just something I had to do before we could go home." Her brow furrowed and she looked back at the screen. Home. She didn't understand. What is home?

He gave her hand another squeeze.

Home is where the heart is…

Home is with her.

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