Cry...

She tightens her arms around him and buries her face in his exposed crown of hair. He still smells like him. Even in this ultra bright, ultra sterile, incredibly cold place; he still smells like the man she loves. His body is warm and heavy resting beside her. She knows that at some point a doctor may come in and tell her that she can’t be here with him, but she can’t force herself to let go. She can’t let go of him yet.

His heartbeat plays in her ears like the sweetest aria, pulling her to him like a siren. He’s been unconscious for days on top of days. She has asked, and begged, even preyed for him to awaken. But moments pass and nothing happens. She’s hoarse from the prayers she’s sent upward and the curses she’s thrown down. She can’t stand the helplessness, the not knowing.

Toby and CJ have been here, again together, bringing their fears and prayers along for the ride. They stayed as long as the world outside could wait and then, they were too gone. Their daughters had come. Zoey stayed the longest before Leo’d had Charlie drag her home. Liz had left first with the children and Ellie was, as always, in between them. Abbey has been there from day one and hasn’t left yet.

He’s so still and quiet. He’s never been quiet a day in his life. He always has something that he simply has to say. His voice rumbles in her head, his laugher sends goosebumps across her skin. They’re all dreams, because he’s still asleep. The doctors have explained it to her in every way possible and a few impossible, but they do not believe that he will wake up any time soon, if at all. She believes enough in him to know better. He has defied odds before. He will defy them again. She has to believe that.

He’s been her passage to the world. He is her partner, her teacher, her best friend, her lover. They belong to one another. And she can’t imagine being alone in this world. He’s all she’s known and now he’s lying there not making a sound. The years they’ve spent together make that a greater hell than anything. Her knees ache from the hours spent kneeling in prayer every day, sometimes more than twice. She doesn’t know that her prayers might finally be answered.

She wakes up without anymore expectation than to sit at his side today. She’ll do it everyday until it kills her as life without him surely will. Wild horses couldn’t drag her away. She spends hours wracking her stricken mind for some kind of answer to this query. What happened? Nothing happened, if she remembers correctly. One day, he just went down and he hasn’t opened his sweet eyes since. She can’t even imagine that there is something strong enough to actually bring him to his knees. Both of them.

The nurses and doctors come and go, paying her little mind along the way. She’s invisible to them because they think that she can’t understand what’s happening around her. Little bits of Abigail manifest themselves when she sees the nurse adjusting his IV or checking his blood pressure. She ticks normal or abnormal off her list. That comes and goes. She never stays for long. She doesn’t live here anymore.

But finally when they leave and it’s just the two of them again, she crawls into the bed beside him and strokes his hair. She thinks of a story Jed told her once: Sleeping Beauty. The magnanimous Prince Charming came to his slumbering lady and...he kissed her softly upon the lips. He demonstrated for her. She melted. And the lady opened her eyes and fell in love. Her cheeks had reddened as he leaned near her ear and whispered, “And they lived and loved beautifully, gently, and happily ever after.” She smiles at the memory and wonders if maybe it’s okay to believe in fairy tales. She turns his face to her and lightly brushes her lips with his, taking time to lovingly nuzzle his nose. An Eskimo kiss; their favorite display of affection. She lays her head alongside his and waits. All she wants is a sign. Just a sign that God has heard her and is taking her words to heart. Jed has held her and loved her and never let her down. She hopes that He’s been watching.

Her eyes drift closed and he snuggles closer to the sanctuary of her body. Their fingers mesh together over his waist and she slides into the peaceful sleeps that’s alluded her for days. She doesn’t even know he’s back yet. God has heard her and has found them both deserving There really are some better places to be than heaven.

She wakes up in the morning to the surprise of her life. Drowsy and unmistakably blue eyes watch her from above with a little smirk at the mouth she knows so well. It’s taken all his willpower not to fall back to sleep, because he wants to see her, to see her eyes and to see her smile when she realizes that he’s back. Her love has brought him home. He just wants her to see that. They share a new first kiss and lay down together. Before long, he’s gone again, but he’ll be back. This time, she’s sure of it.

Even as she watches him delicately doze, she tries not to cry, because of all of the things in this world that she doesn’t understand she does understand what it is to be blessed.

And they are truly blessed to have each other.

Truly.

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